Romanticized Love
I have been doing a lot of studying on soul mates and it brought me into the understanding of twin flames. I definitely can see how you need both but for some reason I can't decide which person in my past is which. The more distant the relationship I have with the person the easier I can label them. But as I get closer to my inner circle, I tend to flip flop which is what.
What I getting at is that you never really know when it's said and done. That kind of scares me because I want to know before it's too late.
The man I love, I struggle daily on his purpose in my life. For years I ignored him because I believed my vulnerability would taint my true understanding of who he is. Now, when I met him I can honestly say I felt as if I knew him deeply. Not so much of mine looking at myself in the mirror but he was definitely the opposite that I needed to balance me out while being in the same wavelength. And naturally, at 18 years old, I ran. From then on we went and still are going through a serious of coming together and separating due to something blocking us. (Honestly, if I knew what it was I would've demolished out along time so we could get back to us.) But instead 7 years go by and we both are on an entrepreneur thirst, with no kids, no real spouse, no real obligations, and praying that God to shows us who we really are.
What helps me everyday is not that I'm waiting on him but I securely know God is building me to be a better woman. I don't doubt if he loves me back, I am just sad because I know he is searching for it (whatever it is) just like me. I would also love to have him right by my side daily so we can help each other but something peacefully says it's not necessary. So I trust God... I mean really trust God and know He is definitely working things out I can't see in Cram and me. (Cram is my Huns nickname for this blog. I just now made it a thing )
After all these years it baffles me and makes truly happy to see his flame still burning for me despite our distance. I mean patient love. 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love... Being spelled out for me as I take a step back and watch God work it.
Which brings me into this concern. I see how the world/ media romanticizes love as if it is something to be done out of your own strength. That's why there's a catastrophic amount of people seriously dried up relying on a love that never feeds them in return. It takes so much from a person while teaching reciprocity is a fantasy lifestyle. AND IT IS NOT!!!! We can't have anything in this world without it... Houses, cars, relationships, clothing, food, weather, sun, everything!!!! Based on the world view, love misses God completely and that's crazy because God is the very source of love.
Yesterday, I was at a friend's house and she said her best friend that's been struggling in dating finally found soneone. She was skeptical on the relationship because she knew her friend still hasn't dived in the process of realizing you must love yourself and the guy your with will never be able to save you. Long story short, relationships in her life seem to go deep very fast but just break off abruptly. The guy doesn't stick around because there was never a foundation and she would make the relationship the way she sees it and he would too and it turns in to a game for the outsiders, "Who'll get tired of pretending first?"
Now she has exhausted resources and energy to another guy, crying about guys are dogs. When in fact she was the one who dogged herself out! (Vice versa on gender.) What I'm getting at is that we have so much more control than we give ourselves credit. Self help books, motivational videos and conferences, advice from everyone, etc. never compares to what you hear in your knower. That place in your heart that provides discernment, wisdom, peace, etc. (All from God) if you get quiet enough. Avoiding our selves is what the world wants. Distractions is all the world has to offer. But if we sit for a while and walk with God through every past broken area you will find restoration. Also, you'll begin to spot who's a twin flame and soul mate and appreciate it all because you will know it never happened just because.
Love is a delicate but harsh depth that is never to be tampered with by a human. I done realize God shows us love in glimpses when we are not ready but rarely ever gives us that love until HE knows we can handle it. Everything outside of Him is forced. Because true love that last, from God, always has a slow build up of patience and developing of maturity. When love takes over you must have reciprocity as a lifestyle, empathy for who HE blesses you with, time to show proof of who you are, your spouse and how God fits in above both of you guys, and cherish what Jesus did for all of us on the cross. Getting each and every one of those down requires diligent searching after God and will never be over night. As much as I totally pray it would, I know without the process I would be ungrateful and not hold on to God like I'm supposed to.
